The first question that a man who believes he has submissive tendencies asks is whether he really has a submissive vocation, whether he "is" submissive or if it's just a fantasy. A submissive is one when at least the following requirements are met: 1) That he feels submissive. 2) That he wants to be submissive. 3) That he wants to strive to be submissive. 4) That there is nothing that ultimately prevents him from BEING submissive.

THAT HE FEELS SUBMISSIVE

How does a submissive know he is submissive? This is the first problem he faces; he doesn't know if he really is, he doesn't truly know what he wants or if it's something fleeting or profound.

One could say that a man "feels submissive" if he perceives, feels, or experiences submissive feelings and needs within himself. What is usually first perceived are the initial submissive experiences, the most known and immediate being submissive FANTASIES.

It usually starts from there. Reading BDSM stories can be a good tool in exploring one's own fantasies, with the caveat of not losing sight of the fact that they are just that: fantasies.

What really defines submission and what you must first ask yourself if you have, is what has come to be called the "submissive essence," which in summary is the deep desire to achieve one's own happiness through the happiness of the Master. That is, when the paradoxical fact occurs that the more you detach from your own satisfaction to devote yourself to achieving that of your Master, the happier you will be in your submission. This is the great PARADOX of submission. The other great paradox is that most submissives experience a greater sense of freedom the more submissive, bound, and devoted they feel.

This first and apparent paradox also seems to go against the principle of Pleasure, by which every living being tends to satisfy its needs and the pleasure that it provides. Because the submissive, like any living being, tends to achieve their own happiness. Nothing and no one, least of all their Master, should divert them from this vital endeavor.

But it also seems to go against the fundamental principle of submission by which it must provide pleasure in itself. It makes no sense to submit to someone if that submission is not going to bring satisfaction to the submissive person.

The secret to this apparent paradox and its contradictions lies in the RHYTHM and the LEVEL. Each submissive has a rhythm and a limit to their submission, a limit beyond which it no longer becomes pleasurable. For example, not all submissives have a vocation for slavery, nor do they have to have one. There are Masters who foolishly insist on getting their submissives to exceed a level for which their submissive lacks the capacity or possibility. Their level is often simply limited by their own personal circumstances. Sometimes the Master's impatience and immaturity causes them to demand a higher level from their submissive ...