Spiritual Retreats - Introduction - Chapter 1

Introduction

Before starting this story, I want to tell you that I have recently been a reader of this page and I acknowledge that I am a very demanding one. When I like one of the stories narrated on some other storytelling page, I try to push the author to their limits, often trying to tailor their story to my tastes and fetishes, and I know that this is a serious mistake, and I publicly apologize for that.

Perhaps for this reason and the morbid interest that many of those stories generate in me, today I venture to start narrating my own stories. I hadn't dared to do so before, perhaps out of laziness, perhaps out of fear of not doing it well, or perhaps due to a lack of time, but the day has come to start writing my own accounts. I will try as much as possible to express here my innermost and darkest desires for my own pleasure and for yours as well. Furthermore, I give you permission to demand a lot from me, obviously if you like my stories, just as at one point I have done with many of you.

Before starting, I would like to clarify something: these stories are the product of my morbid imagination, nothing that will be narrated here is real or has happened to me—I wish it had!—so recreate with me in your imagination everything that is narrated here.

Chapter 1

My name is Pablo, I am a 42-year-old man, bisexual, although I lean more towards men, single, I would say too much, meaning I have had very few romantic relationships in my life and those few have been a complete failure. I have dedicated myself fully to sports, so I have developed a good physique; I am tall, 1.85 meters tall, and people who know me say I am an attractive and masculine man; I don’t go for the 'twink' type, to be honest. Additionally, I have been a constant seeker of my personal and spiritual growth, hence the title of my first story, because it was precisely in that search that I came to these spiritual retreats on the recommendation of a very good friend.

The day the retreats started arrived, Saturday morning. We met at the bus stop of a very famous mall in my city, because it is that route that leads to several nearby municipalities from where I live, and the event would take place in one of those municipalities. A bus picked us up at the agreed time; we were 20 guys. I missed that detail. One thing that caught my attention about these retreats was that they were only for men; the work that was going to be carried out was thought out and designed for men, and this was the reason my friend recommended them to me and the reason I decided to attend.

The departure was very early in the morning. I have always been very bad at getting up early in my life, and in the mood I was in—still half asleep—I paid very little attention to the other guys on the bus.

After settling and sitting in our seats, two young guys got on; I estimate they were about 25 to 30 years old, and they introduced themselves as Daniel and Andrés. Andrés was a tall, bearded guy, with black hair, quite hairy and big for my taste; I’m not really into 'bear' types, but I must admit the guy had a nice face. On the other hand, there was Daniel, blond, thin, gym-toned, very hairless, with a very boyish but pretty face; he had no facial or body hair and had a bit of a 'twink' vibe. Both welcomed us and introduced themselves as monitors to Carlos, who would be the person (teacher) in charge of leading the event and was waiting for us at the farm where the retreats would take place to start the scheduled activities, after which they got off the bus and got into a black van that would take them to the destination as well.

After the introductions, the bus began the journey; I was able to breathe easy because I didn’t see any traits in either of the two monitors that caught my attention, so I was going to be able to focus on what was really important: my spiritual and personal growth.

After an hour of travel, we finally arrived at the indicated place, a farm called El Eden on the outskirts of the city. When we got off the bus, Carlos was waiting for us, a guy around 35 years old, the guy of my dreams, tall, brown hair, gym body, bearded, zero 'twink', a hypnotic voice, perfectly dressed, wearing tight plaid pants, unlined, that accentuated big legs, a nice bulge, and a tight butt—oh my God! Shoes made of material and a white shirt tucked in, which showed how fit he was physically; a well-defined chest and arms that were something else. It was then that I finally woke up; I couldn't believe this guy was going to lead all the scheduled activities and who would at some point accompany individual therapy sessions; “this is going to be a torment for me,” I thought just imagining the moment of those therapies. Carlos introduced himself as the leader, the teacher, the guide of the retreats; his voice conveyed power and control, emphasizing the word “TEACHER”, which I didn’t understand why at that moment. No one was surprised by this trait in his personality; it’s normal for those who are in charge of people or students and must help them reach that ideal level of personal, emotional, and spiritual growth.

There were two things that caught my attention: the attitude of Daniel and Andrés towards Carlos. It seemed to me an exaggerated devotion and a certain discomfort in some of the guys who had just arrived at the farm; three to be more precise. I noticed these three were nervous, uncomfortable, and startled as if Carlos's authority bothered them—contrarily, I thought it was a characteristic of a spiritual leader, as I mentioned earlier. Well, I must admit that he did intimidate me, but just a little.

After the introductions, we were invited to the dining room where a delicious breakfast awaited us. I was grateful for this because by that point, I was starving. We sat at the assigned tables, had breakfast, and were given each a room number. It is worth noting that we would have individual rooms; the retreat required moments of being with oneself, which required an individual room for each of us. I was assigned room 11, which I looked for after breakfast; it was easy to locate. Upon entering, I saw a white tunic on the bed that caught my attention and a note reminding us that during this week of retreats we would go light on luggage. I had brought just enough for 7 days, disregarding what had been required at the time of registration, but what the note said made me realize that what I had in my suitcase would be of little use. Well, underwear, socks, and shoes—yes, the rest was packed just as it was and arrived back home 7 days later since the tunic would be our only garment during the days we were at the spiritual retreat. It was somewhat simple, made of wide fabric, with sleeves to the elbows, a hole for the head, and it reached knee length. We were given part of the morning to rest, acclimate to the place, take a shower if necessary. Each room had its own bathroom, something simple, and a desk, as we were likely to be assigned tasks for which we would need an adequate space.

The first activity was scheduled for 10 am; it was only 8 am, so we had two hours to do whatever we wanted. I heard noises outside, a few voices, and guys introducing themselves to each other. I focused on organizing my suitcase, even if I wouldn’t use anything I packed. Then I slept for an hour; I needed to adjust my hours of sleep. Right before ten, I took a quick shower, dried off well, and dressed in a brief style underwear, socks, tunic, and shoes, ready for my first activity. I looked somewhat ridiculous but thought: everyone is dressed like this, what does it matter? I did worry a bit about how thin the fabric was, feeling like it was somewhat see-through, revealing what one wore underneath.

I arrived punctually at the hall where this spiritual retreat would finally begin. Carlos and his two monitors were ready; all three wore the same tunic I did, except Carlos's was a raw color leaning towards beige. I imagined this was to differentiate him from the rest. His face showed no expression; just seeing this guy wearing his tunic electrified my body. Carlos looked good in everything, even that ridiculous garment; more than a Catholic missionary on a mission in Africa, he looked like a Roman warrior. I sat next to other guys who had already arrived; I noticed they were uncomfortable with their clothing. I found it somewhat uncomfortable too, but there are guys who are stiff enough that they might be even more bothered by a garment like this. I couldn’t take my eyes off Carlos; I had noticed a certain thinness in the fabric of my tunic that could allow what was underneath to be seen. I was disappointed because I saw that the fabric of the leader's tunic didn’t reveal anything; it looked thicker than the others, and perhaps because of the color, it also wouldn't show what Carlos had underneath that garment. The opposite was true for Andrés and Daniel; in both, it could be noted that they wore brief-style underwear beneath their tunics. In Andrés's case, the size of his body was noticeable; I had mentioned he was of that 'bear' type that I don’t find appealing, and the amount of hair all over his body. In Daniel's case, he had a very thin but well-defined body; you could tell he worked out at the gym, but I still noticed something of a 'twink' vibe and that was off-putting to me in any guy. One moment I noticed when both monitors turned their backs, was that underneath their tunics they wore jockstraps—or at least that’s what it seemed to me due to the elastic that surrounded their butts; this detail struck me as very strange. I didn’t understand why these two guys wore that type of garment under their tunics; I became very annoyed just imagining Carlos could be wearing one like that, but I cursed the fabric and color of his tunic—it seemed intentional.

A few minutes later, three guys walked in; precisely the ones I had noticed having some discomfort with Carlos's authority and command when he welcomed us to the farm. It seemed they knew each other from before, as if the three had signed up for the same retreat, and curiously, all three wore the tunic over the pants they arrived in. They looked quite odd, and I didn’t know why they had made that decision. Daniel and Andrés turned red at the sight of them and were in disbelief at what they were seeing. Immediately, Carlos forced the three newcomers to stand in front of everyone, waiting for the other 17 guys to have arrived and settled, and he began to speak: “Gentlemen, I don’t know if I wasn’t clear enough in stating that during these 7 days of retreat, you will only wear the tunic that was left in your room. I see that for most this order was clear, but for three of you, it was not. I want you to give me your names and tell me why I still see pants under your tunics, and I do not accept silly excuses.” The three guys looked at each other; two of them, a bit nervous, managed to stammer out Manuel and Esteban, while the third, more confidently, answered for all: “my name is Sebastián, and we don’t like these garments; we find them ridiculous, as they are more suited for women since they resemble dresses rather than tunics. We didn’t want to look like this and don’t see any problem wearing pants underneath; we feel more comfortable, and this retreat is precisely about comfort.”

Carlos made an angry face but disguised it the best he could and replied coldly and sharply: “I told you to justify your answer well, and I see you have not succeeded. It was stated from the moment of registration that this retreat seeks to return to the elemental, the basic, the primary, and you are still clinging to clothing and how you look in front of others. I doubt you can reach the end of this journey if you can’t handle something as simple as wearing a tunic as your only garment.” He snapped his fingers, and immediately Daniel and Andrés approached their leader, who instructed them to choose three students from the group of 17 who were seated witnessing the spectacle. They came to us and selected three guys who were taken to the front where Manuel, Esteban, and Sebastián stood. Andrés asked them to introduce themselves. Camilo, Felipe, and Alejandro, they responded, and Camilo was positioned behind Manuel, Alejandro behind Esteban, and Felipe behind Sebastián.

I began to wonder what kind of retreat I was in. “Wasn’t it just sending these three guys to their room to take off that extra garment and come back necessary? Was all this happening truly necessary? Weren’t we already adults able to know what to do after being reminded of the rule?” I was lost in all this, but what was about to happen next left me even more shocked and rethinking my presence in that place.

Carlos, with his commanding voice and authority, asked Manuel, Esteban, and Sebastián to raise their hands, and to the guys behind them, he asked them to lift the tunics of the first three. In that position, Carlos stood before Sebastián, Daniel, the blond monitor, before Esteban, and Andrés, the bear monitor, before Manuel, and swiftly, the leader and the monitors unbuttoned and pulled down the extra clothing of those three guys. Sebastián was the first to attempt to pull back, but Carlos's gaze was so inquisitorial that he didn’t dare to speak or move, while Manuel and Esteban, on the other hand, turned red with embarrassment and tried to lower their hands, as a reflex, to cover themselves and not let themselves be seen in their underwear. But the leader's face made them stay paralyzed. Carlos, Andrés, and Daniel stepped back, revealing the three guys with their hands raised, tunics lifted, in boxers, and with their pants around their ankles. At that moment, I was torn between fleeing that place or staying to watch the outcome of that scene, which, to me, was taking on a very morbid tone. Among the three guys in boxers with their pants around their ankles, Sebastián caught my attention; he looked like a typical challenging macho with a cocky attitude and seemed more disturbed by having to obey someone than being exposed in his underwear in front of 22 guys. This was in sharp contrast to Manuel and Esteban, who were making moves with their legs trying to cover themselves since their hands remained raised along with their tunics. Those hands seemed tied by Carlos's mind, as if his order had knotted them, and they had to wait to be untied again by the leader's command.

Carlos spoke again to take control of the situation and told us all: “You have come to a spiritual retreat, and every path to growing in your spirituality needs a leader, a guide, a teacher.” He walked back to where Sebastián, Esteban, and Manuel were standing and continued saying: “and I’m very sorry for you, but that person is ME.” Those last two words he said, raising his voice and coming close to Sebastián's face, whom he had already identified as the leader of those three guys.

I kept a close watch on the situation and thought I saw a hint of arousal in Sebastián’s boxers; I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. How could that guy with the arrogant attitude and macho demeanor, wearing careless underwear typical of a character like him—a boxers that were ordinary, worn, and baggy more due to usage than design, with poorly trimmed hair on his chest and armpits and an unkempt beard—could be getting excited by this situation? But it was no surprise; those boxers left nothing to the imagination, as you could see the entire outline of his cock, which moved with any motion he made. Also, what hung there appeared to be a good size. As for the other two's underwear, not much to mention: white, classic, typical for macho types like that, showing an average size bulge, but they were so plain physically that even in that state, they didn’t manage to excite me.

Sebastián’s face burned with rage, but he did nothing to move and didn’t hide his semi-erect dick at all; it was as if his mind and dick were disconnected. Carlos was not oblivious to this and drew a small smile of satisfaction on his face that he immediately hid. I kept focused on the outcome, and I was already suffering an erection in my underwear; thankfully, the tunic was loose enough to hide it, especially while sitting on the floor, otherwise, everyone present would have noticed my arousal.

Then Carlos ordered Sebastián, Manuel, and Esteban to lower their hands, the tunic on Camilo, Felipe, and Alejandro, and remove the pants from the first three. In this third action, I could see a challenging attitude in Sebastián, who took longer to pull down his pants; he lifted his tunic again to facilitate the act, adjusted his semi-erect cock as best he could; it had no fabric to hold it, so it jumped with every movement of its owner and I couldn’t keep my eyes off that cock in those baggy, worn-out boxers. At that moment, I noticed Sebastián’s gaze on me; he had caught me looking at him, and I tried to play it off, but he had seen me, and I could see that his look wanted to kill me. I scolded myself for the rest of the activity for letting myself be caught. After taking off their pants, Sebastián, Esteban, Manuel, Felipe, Alejandro, and Camilo joined us, and Carlos, in a calmer way, asked that this situation or any other situation of disobedience not be repeated; otherwise, the penalty would be greater.

Then there were presentations from all the students; each had to go to the front, say their name, what they did, their relationship status, and the reason that had brought them to that place. My particular experience was distressing because I felt Sebastián's gaze on me the entire time as if he wanted to stab me, and combined with that, a recent erection leaving traces in my underwear, which made me stand up oddly in front of everyone trying to avoid letting that tunic reveal something in my underwear. I went through the presentation as best I could, thinking the entire time about how all the guys present had probably noticed my underwear was slightly bulging more than normal, and quickly returned to my seat, which I left as fast as I could. Until then, the challenging gaze of Sebastián continued to follow me.

There was a final meditation session that for me had no effect because my mind was racing with what had just happened. I was still in the crossroads of whether to leave or stay at that retreat, doubting if under those conditions I would be able to achieve the goal of that retreat and make the best of it for my life, but also something in me told me that this place could offer me very morbid situations like those I had already witnessed. It was only the beginning of this spiritual retreat, and I had already seen a scene where I could see things that turned me on immensely: a leader with Alpha male traits, dominant, severe, with a commanding voice. Three guys with challenging, rebellious attitudes, typical heterosexual machos who think they’re superior to everyone, especially Sebastián, but then one more fierce comes along, and that’s where they end with their airs. And two monitors with an exaggerated devotion and admiration for their leader that borders on submission, who, although they did not physically attract me, I envisioned them in my mind, letting that submissive attitude emerge in front of their leader or any other guy present at that farm.

In the midst of all these thoughts, Andrés and Daniel announced that the welcome activity had concluded and that they were expecting us in the dining room for lunch. We all got up from the floor, rolled up the mats that had been provided for the meditation session, and headed to the dining room. I continued to feel Sebastián's challenging gaze on my back, and I didn’t understand why.

To be continued...