Spiritual Retreats - Chapter 2

I continued feeling Sebastián's challenging gaze on my back and I didn't know why; I didn't know what this guy's fixation on me was. It's fine that he caught me looking at him while Carlos humiliated him in front of everyone, but I can assure you that in the face of such a scene, most of us there didn't take our eyes off that bulge, that worn-out boxer, and that sordid scene. No matter how heterosexual one might be, I don't think that's something anyone normally sees in their daily life—at least, I don't. Before entering the dining room, I dared to look back to make sure they weren't still killing me with their gaze, and my mistake was grave because I found myself looking at the face of the boss among these three guys again, and this time I couldn't help but lower my gaze to his dick, but it was still showing a quite large bulge, and I couldn’t understand if I had imagined a semi-erection in this guy or if he was really well-endowed. When I looked back up, I found a face flushed with rage, a finger pointing at me simulating a gun, and his two buddies escorting him as if they were his bodyguards. "Damn," I said quietly and thought: "What is a guy like him doing in a place like this? It's clear he has zero personal and emotional work done to pay for a retreat like this. What did he come for, or who recommended or forced him? Why doesn’t he just leave?"

Finally, we arrived at the dining room, and I let those three choose a table first so I could choose one where I wouldn't have to face them to avoid new exchanges of glances. The tables seated four, and I looked for one that already had three of its spots occupied. There was a guy who introduced himself as Gabriel, another as Santiago, and the third as Sergio. I remembered they had introduced themselves in the previous activity as married men with children—three normal guys, nothing out of the ordinary. Well! Santiago stood out because he had a very masculine face, with strong features that, while not handsome, made him look very attractive. He had a great body; it was evident he practiced some sport or went to the gym. I confirmed this later when he told us he had been playing rugby since childhood, which also explained his muscle mass, although I thought he needed more bulk. I managed to ask him about that detail, and he replied that since he no longer played professionally, he had lost much of the mass he once had. The other two seemed to have normal bodies, typical of married men with children and routine lives. I reintroduced myself without going into details, and we waited for our lunch to be served.

One thing I hadn't noticed during breakfast was that the waiters in the dining room wore the same tunics we did, only these were light blue, and they wore a hat that covered all their hair. I imagined it was for hygiene regarding food handling. I became curious and lifted my gaze toward the kitchen, and I could see that the cooks also wore the same light blue tunic. "But what is this?" I thought. "Are all the workers in this farmhouse men? Is there not a single woman? Is it always like this, or how was it when my friend was on her retreat?" My mind was filled with questions when at the table in front of us, which had been empty up to that point, Carlos and his two monitors sat down. I thought they were having lunch in another space or at another time—but no! There they were, all three. Andrés had his back turned to me; he had a very nice butt showing at the back of the chair, and I could confirm that he was indeed wearing a jockstrap as underwear. I was surprised by this and wondered if anyone else noticed or if it was just me, being bisexual, paying attention to those kinds of details. Carlos and Daniel sat on either side of Andrés, which allowed me to see a bit more skin from the leader, just a little when he sat down and the fabric of his tunic lifted, revealing part of his thigh. I thanked life for gifting me that detail, even if it was minimal; I appreciated it. With Daniel, I didn’t appreciate anything, haha! There are those who might like this type of guy, but for me personally, he didn't attract me. The fourth spot at that table remained empty for a few minutes; we were already having lunch when someone interrupted and sat down next to the leader and monitors. It was an older man; I estimated he was about 60 years old, quite unkempt physically—the typical guy who, without being fat, has a prominent belly, crude in his manners and speech. The truth is he generated "disgust" just by looking at him. He also wore a tunic, this one was dark brown. I didn't understand the color, and there was a particularity about him: because of his prominent belly, the length of the garment only covered to halfway up his thigh. He wasn’t very tall; he must have been around 1.70 cm.

When he "slouched" in his chair with his legs open and ended up right in front of me, I could see from under the table how his tunic rode up, revealing typical underwear for someone his age. Everything about him was a mess—his mustache, his hair, his manners, his underwear, and old flip-flops that revealed dirty feet and nails, and even his tunic looked dirty and worn out. Clearly, being able to see his underwear also allowed me to observe his bulge; it didn't stand out much, and you're going to ask what I was doing looking at that, but those kinds of details don't escape a guy who likes other guys, no matter how crude the other guy is, haha! Besides, I noticed a lot of tension in Andrés and Daniel with this man's arrival; they looked nervous, exchanging glances, accelerating their lunch; they seemed odd. Something was going on between those three, and my suspicion grew when I started to see the older man touch his dick more than normal over the fabric, obviously in a crude and vulgar manner. He didn't care if anyone could see him; he did it shamelessly, and I was very surprised that Carlos allowed it while sitting at the same table with him. One of two things: either he didn’t notice, or he approved of it.

I tried to disguise not looking at the scene; I continued with my lunch and kept wondering if these kinds of details were only obvious to me or if someone else was noticing them too. I scanned the dining room and, surprise!, from one of the tables, I could see three guys watching the scene. It was clear something about all that turned them on because I saw them adjusting their hard-ons in their tunics and whispering to each other. I immediately remembered them because during their introductions in the activity, they had openly presented themselves as gay. One introduced himself as Mario, a 50-year-old guy with a partner, but his infidelity and a possible breakup had forced him to seek help to avoid reoffending and to be forgiven by his partner. Another introduced himself as Hernán, a 28-year-old guy who confessed he had hit his last three partners and had come to this retreat to improve that violent pattern in himself and not repeat it in his future relationships. The third presented himself as Eduardo, a 56-year-old who told us he was single but devastated because his partner had recently committed suicide, and he needed help from wherever to overcome that great blow life had dealt him.

I turned my gaze back to the monitors' table, focused my eyes on the man’s face, and managed to remember that he had been the driver of the bus that took us to the farmhouse. I recalled his name—Adolfo, that was it. He continued in his crude scene of touching himself without any shame. I could see an erection in those underwear; it didn't show a big bulge, as I told you, this man didn't look very well endowed, and to my surprise, I saw him rest his hand on Daniel’s leg, and without caring about his reaction, he moved up to touch his dick over the white fabric. With his bare foot, he was touching Andrés's dick beneath his tunic, right in front of me. "But what is happening in this place?" I asked myself again. "Aren't these the kinds of spaces people come to to calm those kinds of behaviors and silence that demon that urges one to give in to their most primal desires?" I couldn't help but recognize that the scene was quite sordid—seeing this coarse man handle these two refined monitors in this way. Although, as I've said, they weren't to my taste, I admit they were two handsome guys in their style. Additionally, not knowing if the leader was unaware or complicit in this situation had me on edge; I was extremely aroused at that moment. It was already the second time that day I’d had an erection, and if this was just the beginning, I thought to myself, "What will the rest of the six days be like?" I then tried to hurry my lunch and retire directly to my room. We had been announced a break of an hour and a half to digest our lunch and continue with the afternoon sessions.

Before reaching my room, I decided to leave the farmhouse intending to clear my mind. Outside, I saw the parking area right in front of the El Edén door, to the left were the windows of the rooms and auditorium where the retreat activities took place and to the right, the windows of the first seven rooms. I walked to my right where I began to visualize a flat area with a well-manicured green space. I reached the end, turned right again, and could see another six windows, and I recognized that one belonged to my room. I kept visualizing the wide flat area and at the end, a sort of garden with bushes and trees of various sizes caught my attention. I headed toward that place and upon arriving, I could see a sort of agora—some stones in the shape of cubes of different heights arranged in a circle for people to sit on, leaving a space in the center, even some taller ones behind shorter ones, simulating backrests for the comfort of those gathered there. I then remembered that activities were scheduled to take place in that location according to the agenda. I was there when a voice surprised me: "You shouldn’t be in this place without the company of the leader or your monitors." I jumped and turned to see who was speaking to me—it was Andrés, and he continued saying: "I saw you left quickly from the dining room, and I wanted to know what happened, which is why I followed you here. You know these walks must be authorized and accompanied." I apologized and promised I wouldn't do it again. I looked back at the agora and told the monitor that I liked that place; he replied that the Monday morning activities were scheduled there, so I needed to be patient. I managed to delve a bit deeper and noticed that behind the trees surrounding that type of plaza, a modest building came into view. I assumed it was a house for employees and the steward. Andrés then suggested we go back to the house. I wanted to complete my walk around it and went to the back. He accompanied me, and I could see the other seven windows of the remaining rooms, completing a total of 20, the window of a social bathroom, then those of the kitchen, and finally, those of other classrooms and meeting rooms. Andrés told me that the house had always been single-story, that it was a traditional house with several rooms, multiple living areas, a dining room, and a kitchen, but when Carlos bought it for the retreats and to rent it out for other types of lodging and activities, he adapted it by dividing the rooms into smaller ones to accommodate more people. He retained the dining room, the kitchen, expanded the social bathroom, converted the living areas into classrooms and auditoriums, and decided to build two more floors just over the area of the living rooms to have more classrooms, offices, his room, and the monitors' room. After finishing my tour of the house, we went back inside so I could head to my room to rest for the remaining time I had left. I said goodbye to Andrés, and he headed to his room, which was on the third floor of the built area.

I was walking to my room when I saw Sebastián enter room 9, one door away from mine. "They almost placed him as my neighbor," I thought. His friend Alejandro was entering room 8, and Manuel to 10. The latter was indeed my neighbor, and he was so bland that, honestly, I didn’t care; I was more unsettled by Sebastián’s proximity. With this setup, I concluded that those three requested to be placed next to each other. That was for sure. In rooms 12, 13, and 14, Eduardo, Hernán, and Mario entered—those three characters from the dining room who had openly talked about their sexuality in front of the group. I found this arrangement curious but didn't give it much importance. I entered my room, wanting to take the opportunity to have a good wank to calm the arousal that the events of the morning and midday had left me, but I preferred to take a half-hour nap to regain energy for the afternoon session.

To be continued...

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