The seven sacraments. Punishment and discipline.

In romantic power exchange relationships, there is some confusion regarding the meaning and function of punishment and its relationship with discipline. This confusion seems to stem from a stereotypical representation of the roles of master and slave, as if they were equivalent concepts to superior and inferior, worthy and unworthy, predator and prey, and even, sic, male and female as vectors of the emotional bond in our historical/cultural context. This ideological bias is also overshadowed by religious concepts of guilt and atonement, as well as an implicit recognition of authority and hierarchy as instruments of repression and maintenance of social order.

It would be good to combat this stereotype to establish healthier and more satisfying power exchange relationships, and to avoid them devolving into emotional dramas or mere ritual exercise. The personality that imposes itself as dominant is not above good and evil, does not hold any privilege, cannot and should not administer justice, as it is not a superior being, but a spiritual vehicle for the fulfilling of the submissive's destiny. The will and delight of the dominant is not the ultimate meaning of the relationship; rather, it should focus on the realization of the potential of the personality that imposes itself as submissive.

My submissive is gender fluid. He is undoubtedly smarter and more handsome than I am, and I am aware of that. He has a purpose and a longing to fulfill. His destiny is to belong, his desire to desire, his duty to serve. His task is infinite, and his goal is the unattainable perfection in surrender. He attends to me, adores me, makes me feel good, and I help him grow. I admire his qualities and cultivate them as if they were mine. I detest submissives who degrade themselves and mediocre dominants who only consume energy to compensate for their shortcomings. I want him to be strong, intelligent, brilliant, brave, and confident. I am not his executioner; he is not my victim.

There are submissives whose masochistic drive gives them pleasure in punishment, even if it is unjust. There are dominants whose sadistic motivation leads them to administer it as a discharge of their violent passions, without criteria or sense. Discipline serves to channel this dynamic. Discipline is often understood as preventive punishment or a learning of pain and surrender, but its basic function is to define roles and sanction the rules of the game. It prevents the submissive from mechanically infringing the norms to provoke the dominant's reaction and keeps the dominant from using their powers to satisfy their narcissistic impulses.

I usually do not apply physical punishment as a corrective. To refine my submissive's behavior and preserve the codes that govern our exchange, other measures of a psychological or emotional order have proven to be more effective, such as the prohibition of contact, the imposition of unpleasant or humiliating tasks, the withdrawal of normally permitted privileges and pleasures, temporary arrest, or the obligation to remain on their knees or facing the wall until they purge their faults. Small penances adjusted to the magnitude of their infractions that are truly painful and that they, therefore, try to avoid by correcting their behavior going forward.

I tend to reserve the application of corporal punishments for cases when I am the one who has engaged in inappropriate behavior or need to rectify my own mistakes, that is, when I overstep my powers or neglect my responsibilities, degrading the exchange. In such cases, my submissive becomes my scapegoat, and their sacrifice restores balance by forcing me to perform a reflective act. In such situations, we merge into a single imperfect creature capable of making mistakes. Their pain and acceptance transfigure into a sort of sacrament or purifying rite that redeems us both, renews desire, and reinforces commitment. A slap administered firmly and measured is enough to unleash the catharsis and allow tensions to flow. Then I commune with their tears, for there is no delicacy more savory nor nourishment more restorative than the innocent's cry.