In contrast to what it seems (I endorse it with my personal experience), our sexual orientation is a factor that can condition our chances of finding a partner within the BDSM scene.

The BDSM scene emerged in the early 1990s, fueled by the Leather movement, led by the collective of gay men oriented towards sadomasochism as an alternative form of sexuality.

The BDSM scene is, therefore, a space where the heterosexual world has penetrated to a limited extent, with homosexual orientation still being the majority. Within the BDSM world, there is a great abundance of male subs and Doms, in contrast to a comparative scarcity of female subs and Doms. In the strictly heterosexual BDSM scene, a male Dom has a 1 in 1,000 chance of finding a submissive, a 0.1% chance. A male sub has a 1 in 100 chance of finding a Mistress, a 1% chance. However, a lesbian or bisexual Mistress has a 1 in 50 chance, a 2% chance, of finding a submissive.

A lesbian or bisexual submissive has a 1 in 25 chance of finding a Mistress, a 4% chance. The chances of a gay or bisexual man finding a submissive are 1 in 20, a 5% chance, and the chances of a gay or bisexual submissive finding a Master are 1 in 10, a 10% chance.

Therefore, we can see that within the BDSM scene, people with a strictly heterosexual orientation have severe difficulties finding a partner of the opposite role compared to the much more accessible chances of homosexual or bisexual individuals.

The problem of sexual orientation when searching for a partner of the opposite role within the BDSM scene is that there is no uniform representation of all sexualities within the community, so it is highly recommended to be open-minded and not afraid to explore, without rushing.

Many people choose to define themselves as "homoflexible", "bicurious", "explorers", or "undecided", I think it's the correct attitude to start with. The journey through the BDSM scene is not only about discovering your kinks, but also a journey to discover your own sexuality and desires.

(Author: Master Spintria published in BDSMHoy)